I was reading a health and wellbeing newsletter last week (it just makes me feel fitter and healthier reading it!), and there was quite a scathing article about hot chocolate…well, hot winter drinks in general.
However, the article offered some ‘useful’ tips (read: bits to make you feel bad when you are just trying to keep warm in winter, but are then made to feel like the most horrible person on the planet because heaven forbid, you like hot drinks when it’s 8 degrees outside).
Anyway, some of the really (no so) great advice got me thinking about what it would read like if I had written this. So here goes…
Serious article (SA): Order a small skim latte – it is one of your three serves of dairy for the day.
Hayley article (HA): Order a large hot chocolate and skip the coffee (see, instantly better – avoiding coffee!). It is probably equivalent to two serves of dairy plus it contains cocoa which is from beans, so that equates to one serve of fruit as well. Since cocoa beans are the fruit of the cacao tree…
SA: Go low fat.
HA: This sentence would not exist. Ever. Why do you need to worry about fat? Seriously, it’s a treat. Killjoys.
SA: Avoid creamy toppings or syrup – they add extra energy to drinks.
HA: Add extra creamy bits and sweet goodness to your hot chocolate. Extra energy is just what you need in winter (…it seems so obvious).
SA: Use less chocolate and have half strength hot chocolates.
HA: Asking for half strength hot chocolate completely defeats the point and beggars belief as to why you are even in the café. The only way to have a hot chocolate, is to ask for it extra strong. They are never strong enough. In fact, since we have established that cocoa is a fruit, more chocolate would equal two serves of your daily fruit intake. It makes sense.
SA: Choose water for hot chocolate in place of milk.
HA: (shaking head at the complete sacrilege of this article – do these people even drink hot chocolate?) NEVER use water instead of milk. People will look at you weirdly. They really will. And it is because you are. You are missing out on your daily dairy intake here. That is not a healthy thing to do. I can only see water as an option if you are lactose intolerant. And even then it would be best just to drink water, because hot chocolate with water will always, always only be one step off dishwater. Fact.
SA: Avoid powdered sachet drinks.
HA: Avoid powdered sachet drinks. They are nasty. To prove this, boil cardboard and add to water and then compare with sachet mix. Enough said (and by some miracle I agree with the other article!).
SA: Drink herbal tea.
HA: Drink herbal tea if you run out of hot chocolate. Then and only then.